02 August 2022
It's not as if I never studied formal theology. Listing my degrees won't help you, but it should be obvious that I've worked on staff of churches. To be honest, it was my pursuit of a better understanding of Bible History and the intellectual background of the Hebrew people that got me shoved out the church doors. I'm not bitter and I'm certainly not trying to build my own church. My understanding of the background of the Bible precludes any of that.
I don't want people following me. My goal is to help you find your own path. The false human unity of most organized religion will restrict your choices. To be sure, I miss the fellowship. Not a day goes by that I don't feel a sense of isolation. But at what price would it be restored? I'd have to put some human agency in place of the Christ who leads me. I've written it off as a feature of these times. God is at work; I'm just along for the ride. It will be what He decrees.
I suppose I could say that I have my audience, but whatever that might be, it excludes people who feel the need for structure and orthodoxy. I get that. I'm not calling to those people. I'm not telling them they are wrong, except for the part where they insist I have to join them or I can't serve the Lord. I've had enough of that already. Let them consider me a heretic or any other label they like. For the folks I'd like to reach, it's a badge of honor.
Here's what I do in my pursuit of Christian Mysticism: I envision my feudal Lord having called me and redeemed me from my fallen nature. He grants me stewardship of a portion of His domain. My part of His domain isn't magnificent; it's small, about as much as I can handle. The few folks who are willing to place themselves inside my limited domain will get all I can offer. The whole idea is that I use my limited gifts from the Lord to help bring you farther into redemption. And for the much larger number of folks who enter my domain by just a tiny margin, and for just a short time, they get a much smaller dose of redemption for the issues they bring under my covering.
That's how it works in Matthew 25, where Jesus talks about how we have ministered to Him by how we minister to people in need. Sure, we can't do much, and God knows human need is a bottomless pit. But we darned sure better not let human capabilities decide what we do and how. That will always be wrong, regardless of the actual details. The only right way is to keep an eye on what God has given us and what He expects us to do with it. That's what convictions are for.
One person scolded me for not helping that prostitute move out of her apartment. They approached it from the standard church-oriented outreach management theories. Those are wrong; her need wasn't the issue. That's what Jesus meant by talking about how the poor will always be with us, and why it was a good thing for that expensive perfume to be poured on His head and feet. Outreach management theories sound exactly like Judas fussing about the "waste" of resources. Meanwhile, I am not going to carry boxes alongside an attractive young female with almost no clothing on her. I was embarrassed and turned my eyes away. I'm not the guy she was looking for.
There might be other reasons to decline helping her, but that is enough by itself. My convictions demand I turn away and not put myself in a position to even look upon women like that. She was a living, breathing stumbling block, and I know how much temptation will trip me up.
Again, you give only what the Lord has given you for the purpose of redemption. Learn your boundaries. The list Jesus offered there at the end of Matthew 25 was not catalog of requirements, but a sample of kinds. You will naturally be better at some things than others. In moral terms, it's a question of how much someone wants to come under your covering. You reserve the bulk of your talents and resources for those inside the Covenant. Your convictions will tell you where to draw the line; listen to them.
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