11 October 2022
I can't tell you when it first began. All I know is that well before I got married, I had already developed a strong sense of revulsion about it. If I saw enough of a gal's flesh and shape to provoke the lust of my fleshly nature, my heart was turned off. At some point, my heart spoke loudly enough that my mind started to listen.
Jack has posted an excellent discussion of what "sexy" means. If we stay with the dictionary definition, then all it means is something that appeals for our fallen fleshly lusts.
We would struggle to find a strong clinical separation between the authority of our hearts (convictions) and our fleshly natures. I can explain it until I'm blue in the face, and you still might not grasp it, unless your heart is also awakened and ruling. Yet, once the heart is in command, it's amazing how the flesh actually tends to obey.
The flesh knows its place, even if it rejects that place until you invest your heart with the authority to rule.
I had met plenty of girls in high school and in college who were able to come across as sexy. It always seemed to feel dirty to me when I felt I was the target of their attention. By the time I met my future wife, it was such a relief to deal with a young woman who didn't jangle my flesh, but appealed to my heart.
It turned out that we both had our hearts awakened in our childhood. It took a while, but the heart grew gradually stronger against the flesh. Somewhere in my college years, the balance point began to tip more strongly, and noticeably. It's not that I got things right all the time, but that my heart was dominant enough for me to see that it was a good thing. It was the same with my wife. When someone encouraged her to do something "sexy", she felt dirty about the whole experience, even if she resisted.
This is why I say that nowadays, whenever I see more than my convictions consider appropriate, I turn away. Quite honestly, it embarrasses me and I'm ashamed to have given my flesh any chance just to howl approval. And yet, my beloved is able to stir me through the heart, and my flesh obeys with a strong desire for her.
It can work that way with all the various temptations we face, all of the trio: Lust of the Flesh, Lust of the Eyes and Human Pride. Every part of that can be brought to heel by the authority of the heart. Now, just imagine if we had a way to teach that to our children before they got old enough to start facing the temptations of puberty.
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