21 December 2023
The Bible takes the position that, for good or ill, your parents did what they did in raising you. Scripture recognizes that your upbringing can leave scars. The issue now is to move forward in faith and grace as an adult.
My parents could be at times merciless in mocking me as a child. It included at times deceiving me. I stopped trusting them on some level. It would have been easy to go off the deep end with that, but the Lord was gracious, showing me that He would use it to make me sensitive to trust and honesty. So, in a sort of odd reversal, my response was to vow not to be like them on that particular issue, and I became painfully honest. The next issue was learning to pull that back when it served no purpose.
Because I don't mock, but take children seriously when they express themselves, I've never had a problem with rapport. It's not that I'll tell them all my personal secrets, but I won't hide from them what they really need to know. I don't let rules get in the way of being honest, and they can usually read that. So, they have generally been terribly open with me. I strive never to betray anyone's trust, adults included, but it's always been a major factor in dealing with children.
I haven't forgotten what it was like to be in their place.
Now, if mocking is a part of your sense of humor, I won't condemn you directly. I'll simply stay away from you, and will honestly tell you why should you ask. That's because someone's sense of humor is what it is. Never apologize for laughing at something you find funny. By the same token, realize that that some people won't laugh with you. Hang out with people who appreciate your sense of humor and don't get riled up when some turn away.
Still, I will suggest that people who delight in the embarrassment or humiliation of others are difficult to appreciate, unless that's part of the culture. Somewhere inside, my flesh gets angry with what I see as abuse, but I don't let it vote on how I react socially. The times I've encountered people who couldn't resist trying to humiliate me, I simply walk away, blank faced, without reacting at all. But then, I avoid them in the future. They can not be my friends, not because I felt like they attacked me, but because I can't work with them doing that to others.
I have no trouble making fun of myself. I know pretty much who I am, and I don't take myself that seriously. But I cannot work with people who would invest too much effort into that kind of pranking. It doesn't move the work forward. I don't mind harmless pranks that surprise or bewilder, but I don't want the extra work of having to deal with the inevitable hard feelings that come with humiliation pranks. The latter is not harmless.
This ends up being the single greatest factor in decisions to ostracize folks in the past. My calling and mission has no room for that kind of humor. My job is to specialize in dealing with people who have been stomped too much already, while those who are so tough and hardy are generally outside of my ambit. They have their place, and it's a different culture to which I don't belong.
Comments
Jay DiNitto
The people that really baffle me are the ones that play pranks for exposure when they know they're in an environment where it won't be taken well. There's too many to really mention, but Johnny Somali is one of them from recent memory.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Somali
Thankfully, most people that I've read regard him as a dunce.
CatRez
My personal opinion is that this all reflects a childish obsession with getting attention. I believe that it's all just one step from the juvenile kind of hazing as a rite of passage to enter an elite cadre of tough guys, but that's not always the case. While there is a place for sifting via harshness, it's rarely done right.
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