22 October 2024
In the ancient Hebrew language, there were two verb tenses: "perfect" (something completed) and "imperfect" (something not yet completed). In my experience, the Holy Spirit operates in these two tenses. That is, when He provokes us in our hearts, it is something that is to come, or something that already happened.
Thus, your convictions will speak to you in the same tenses. Keep in mind: You can hold your opinions, but your convictions hold you. Your convictions drive you hard, and the more you pay attention to them, the harder they drive you. These are things you simply cannot ignore.
The simple form of conviction is when something happens and you are provoked in your spirit. Your heart will start pressuring you to react. This is typically rather urgent, though the context may restrict you. The hardest thing you'll do in this situation is know whether the conviction tells you to do something others can see, because it's not always the case. You are supposed to discern who the audience would be. The point is that, in your internal psychology, you will know a decision has been made in your heart, and you must act on it in one way or another.
It may be nothing more than a silent resolve, but often you will feel compelled to react visibly. The challenge is that your mind will have to process any decision you make so that it can organize and implement it. It takes some practice to train your brain to react according to Scripture. As you gain a deeper understanding of the Old Testament way of thinking, your conscious decisions will shift from the typical western logical ways.
The other kind of conviction is far more complicated. It is when you begin to feel a lot of pressure about something that has not happened yet. I can tell you by experience with myself and with counseling others that we tend to get this very wrong at first. Your logic wants to seize the impulse and race off to immediate action, and it will usually be the wrong thing to do. Worse, your fleshly mind will often be in a hurry for the sake of efficiency, and that's most often wrong, as well. It takes a lot of discipline to still your flesh and wait to see what God requires of you.
Moral convictions don't address themselves to facts and logic. They have their own kind of "logic" that is entirely moral in nature and quite personal. Indeed, the whole point is that God wants something from you individually, and your flesh isn't going to play nicely until you've had some time to discipline it. You need to get used to bearing the pressure until the Lord breaks through your fleshly folly and gives you a clue you can recognize.
Don't be afraid to make mistakes; response itself is more important than how you respond. For a while, most of your convictions are likely training exercises regarding things of little actual consequence. The point is that you should commit yourself up-front, sight unseen on anything God may require of you. Your flesh will hate the exercise, and your emotions may jerk you around quite a bit.
Get used to this. The vast majority of God's work with you comes this way.
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