15 January 2025
I felt moved to make a comment on Jack's blog today under the guise of Tomb Refugee.
One of the readers lamented how rare it is find a community where men can talk about the things discussed in that post. Guys, how often have you broached something personal in church with men you thought were your brothers, and they acted like this was a secular social situation where they wanted to keep their distance? Is church no different from any other segment of our world?
I can't count how often people have used the rhetoric insisting that church is your family and "we will help you with anything" -- and then refused to even hear something that was outside the safest discussions of trivial stuff. When I started teaching and writing about the need for a spiritual refuge where you could share your burdens, I was told to stop. I was admonished by pastors. I had other church members clutch their pearls and act shallow, as if real believers never had any problems. I was run out of a couple of churches.
Such episodes contributed to me refusing to work any longer in mainstream churches. To their shame, I even found secular friends out at sporting events who cared about me, who considered it their moral duty and didn't hesitate to discuss those things. I decided I would no longer be a part of communities that treated human failure like a contagious disease. That's how most churches act.
You can bare your soul in our community. I can vouch for Jack to welcome you the same way on his blog. Nothing is so shocking that we can't address it. You won't be chased away for having made mistakes. Granted, we may point out boundaries and suggest you need to repent of certain things, but nobody is going to act like you crawled out of Hell with scales on your hide.
Further, we have already exhibited a lot of patience with difficult people. It's what we've all learned and agreed together we must do in order to bring home the lost sheep of the Covenant. This is not for everyone, but we'll give it our best shot to make you feel welcome. Jesus welcomed the dregs of His society when they sought salvation. We can't do any less.
But know this: Our Savior's definition of holiness starts with the ability to love each other as He did. That was Christ's Law.
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